The weather is perfect in Seattle right now. Warm enough for girls to not wear bras, but cold enough for me to see them nipping out in the shade.
why didn't you say something constructive like "stop chugging that vodka"?
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
It was an awkward 3some. I took her from behind while he just made out with her.
In case you were wondering, transporting lube in a ziploc bag is just as bad of an idea as it sounds.
I officially became the girl who let a guy get her off under the covers last night while her roommate and a friend were there. He was impressed by my ability to stay quiet and stay relatively focused on the conversation...
I am so ashamed of you, and yet so proud.
I almost had to fight a bird, and you know how scared I am of birds. It found that Percocet that I lost in the grass last week, I threw out my back when I launched myself at that little fucker.
I'm going to stop at grocery on the way home. I'm CRAVING wine from a sippy cup. We have neither wine nor sippy cups.
I wonder if there is a über wall of shame that you are currently on. Like between drivers.
So here's a tip: don't give a blowjob the same morning you're going to the dentist. Cuz they will think you have "mouth trauma."
I wanna be like, dude, I peed your bed. Like you laid in my pee. And we're not dating. You can find another fuck buddy who I'm sure won't piss on you.
What. The. Fuck.
You'll have to be more specific. I do a lot of "what the fuck" kind of stuff
My hands smell like penis... I can't even remember the last time i touched a penis, but my hands say i did. Oh the mystery.
this vacation is helping with my sexual bucket list so much. threesome, deaf guy, and outdoor sex all accomplished.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
