Some guy on the train just glared at me. So I'm drinking tequilla out of a dixie cup. Go fuck yourself.
He tried to cuddle with me after we hooked up and i just looked at him and said why are you still here?
He legit pounded my cooking wine, because he was to cheap to buy beer. He is so not getting any.
When I come over I'm bringing "Socky" the Alcoholism Prevention puppet, today he is going to tell you boys about his FAVORITE word---its called "moderation"
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
The night went downhill when he lit her purse on fire and tried putting it out with vodka
he gave me a thermos so I could take my coffee with my on drive of shame. I was unexpectedly grateful...
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
He is peeing inside and sticking up for himself. Those are two of the four signs of the apocalypse.
The cop that got shot in the dick is here, let the entertainment begin.
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Yeah, sometimes it takes a while to realize, wow you kind of suck and not in the fun way
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
Quick question. If you break the bathroom sink off the wall from fucking on it, can you claim it on your homeowner's insurance as a 'natural disaster'?
I know you're having a really bad day and I'm a little to blame for that and I'm sorry. To make your day go better just try to imagine what people's fuck faces look like.
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