ppl dont tell me stories about anal. apparently im not a tell-me-stories-about-anal kind of person
He asked about stds. I told him I don't have any... which I don't. They are now called sti's. Whooopsie
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
You are forgiven. I sent you a picture of a pumpkin man as a gesture of reconciliation.
He ended up letting us go, I think he just felt sorry for us. It's the only time that my night's gotten worse after I've taken my pants off.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Dave when you find that upper decker at your house its from me but its for Jill not you
I'm in a dress, surrounded by Republicans, and the bartender just told me he's "out of Jack Daniels" in a very accusatory tone. Shit, is it only 8 PM?
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
ok morning sex is a totally valid reason to come in late... ur good, cya in 20
It seems I've entered my 21st birthday the same way I entered this world: naked, crying and smothered in someone else's bodily fluids...
Dude what happened last night?
I don't know, I'm still trying to figure out how I got my clothes back on.
I put him in the supply closet, used the copy paper to build a fort around him and his wheelchair, then he fucked me in the fort.
Randomize
