I am so gay it hurts my loins. Going to see She's Just Not That Into You... again. Ohhh my goodness.
i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
how to cook rice: 1. put random amount of rice and water in a pot 2. have sex on the kitchen floor. when you are done having sex the rice is ready
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
I dreamt I won the Huge Cock Championship last night. It was glorious.
I wish you would just come have sex with me in ihop. I don't want to be here
I hereby state that I am over the age of 18. If I am not of age to purchase or consume alcohol products, I hereby acknowledge that I have not received any alcohol products from said party host. Also, in the event of injury or death, said party host is not to be held accountable. Please reply with your full name and today's date for your e-signature". *note: no text, no entry.*
Sorry bro, just a precaution. You know, ever since the "Jake incident". What a douche.
I can't put those talents on a resume
i just smoked marajunia from a shotgun barrell. what have you done today?
Definitely just threw up in a mcds cup going through Wendy's drive thru. I'm way to hungover to go to work today
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
He left weed in my bong for me this morning. What a guy.
WHAT IS ALL THIS WATER BOTTLE FLIPPING NONSENSE? WHAT IS LIT?
YOUTHS.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
I don't actually like you. I just want to hook up with you.
I'm fine with that
Randomize
