Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
my ex gf has sooo many hot friends... i feel like im at a grocery store when on her fb... just shopping around.
She touched you, you're now contaminated for 48 hours. Please watch out for rashes, hives and STDs as she's known to have all three.
battery dying...get laid and text me after...or during...its whatever.
Just found the bucket list I wrote when I was high...somehow I dont think "jello swimming pool" is gonna happen.
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
I plan on gettn treatment center drunk
Just got back from fathers day breakfast. So hungover i couldn't eat so i just slipped my food in my pockets and threw it out while i puked in the bathroom.
he's my ex-boyfriend's best friend... he tried to make out with me to prevent me from hitting his friend. then they almost fought about it.
teach me your ways.
hungover and i feel like a burrito
like eating one or like you are one?
like i am one.
I'm glad they extended train service last night. People crying, screaming, throwing up, fighting and peeing themselves on a train made me feel like I've got my shit together.
We need to be on the same page regarding the 3some this time. No more "one of us should probably leave" moments.
We need a fire pit. Meat. And a keg.I mean like a cow we just carve from. And cook it. We can use the milk from the udder to make White Russians
I am watching Wayne Gretzky and Alexander oveckhin play video games for charity. What is life right now.
Randomize
