in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
I may have been to starbucks and 2 classes with balls still written on my face...
Still waiting. He said he'd call between 2 and 10... apparently he's like the Comcast of drug dealers.
Just saw a girl leaving CVS on her bike with a case of beer. She tried to ride one handed with the case under her other arm and fell over off the sidewalk. I'm glad to see someone else's life is a bigger joke than mine.
but the good news is i woke up with 15 dollars in my pocket so i probably sold my phone instead of puking on it
He plays me like an instrument...he is the Carlos Santana of my vagina.
we are torturing ourselves with these mediocre cocks
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
apparently the last bar didn't like my halloween costume with syringes filled with whiskey
He's cheating on her.
Are you sure it wasn't her?
I have my glasses on, and as long as she didn't change her face in the past two months; its her.
Pretty sure the guy at the Halloween party dressed as an ice cream man is working his way through the building without a care for gender or age. He high-fives me on his way out each morning.
Ate a slug for 39 dollars
I wouldn't expect anything less from a PhD student
HEY I WILL KIDNAP THE FUCK OUT OF YOUR PET GOAT
You threw a beachball full of vodka at me and yelled I CHOOSE YOU then ran
But we have bathrooms and they dont
Randomize
