Shaking her cervix like it's the hottest ticket around
who loves string cheese????? I LOVE STRING CHEESE!!!
you know...if you didn't give such great head little things like this would ruin our friends with benefits relationship.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
Is "incoherent" a legit goal to strive for tonight? Or should I stay sober enough to fuck who I can?
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
he fed me chocolate as I gave him a handjob. I felt like a princess.
Delivery driver perk #327: I just paid for part of the security deposit on my new place in pizza. This oughta be a fun renting experience.
i decided this morning while eating my breakfast of red bull and cold pizza that i should take a vow of celibacy
Dude, im sorry I had sex with that girl I was trying to hook you up with last night. Good news though she puts out
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
Your boobs stole my birthday thunder!
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It just so happens all of their names are Ryan, so I never have to change whose name I moan.
I decided we werent gonna go for round 5 when he started trying to have a serious conversation about how blessed he is to have such a nice penis
He has a point, the man's penis is a legend.
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