She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
I only knew it was midnight because i got happy new years texts while i puked outside
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
I have two stamps on my hand....ones from the bar and one is from an aquarium...care to explain?
Turned out the thing on the lampshade was a bloodstain, not a bedbug. We feel much safer now.
Idk. Each time I ask him about double teaming a woman with Dennis Rodman he just giggles. We will never know what to believe.
He should get nipple rings. No homo...I actually don't think there is a way to make it non gay.
Yeah you should have just let that thought go.
Seriously, you can't give someone's wife an orgasm on the dance floor of a gay nightclub and then hang out with her husband the following week
Nothing like an alcohol-fueled, 6-hour-long hunt for weed--complete with occasional breaks for sex.
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
His cat must have been laying on his dick, because now my face is covered in hives
I'm trying to watch Chicago PD and tell you I like your dick at the same time. It's a lot of work, ok?
The police report said i was screaming at someone that wasnt there, then the cops told me to call someone sober and i called mike to tell him "They are trying to arrest me for stealing information from the FBI" at that point they took me to jail.
I was looking at your nipple and it made me think of you
Well I hope so...
Are these your boobs on my camera?
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