It's fine actually... I'm pretty sure he had the crookedest weiner in the world anyway.
Like he had it hanging in the wind and you just decided, "nope, I don't think that one's for me." ????
God no! I could just feel it. His clock said it was 8:00 when, clearly, it should have been midnight.
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
You know, I really only think drinking is a problem if you're not good at it.
they were fucking between cars in the parking lot and everyone was cheering at them.
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
Also was told that I was her "third favourite booty call" - I'm taking this a good thing right?
It's a podium place so yeah...
Hey sorry for being annoying last night, I just realized how many times I yelled "JORDAN!" during and after playing pong.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
I'm owning this being a social human being thing tonight!
Because you hugged a homeless guy, and I paid him 5 bucks to give us our giraffe balloon animal back. That's why.
I had mediocre parking lot sex last night so the night wasn't a complete bust.
I got the security footage. Thank you boobies!
ok so you're 100% sure this time that he isn't your ex in disguise again?
Randomize
