please come you make the beer taste better
i bet if teenage jesus was here he would do a shot with me
I knew my chances of getting laid had increased after she walked into my room and yelled "DICK TIME"
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
I feel like letting the same guy who shot him dig the pellet out of his leg with a pocket knife was the bigger mistake
He wrote on the paper that he wanted a "Ptitty burreto" from taco bell...when we ordered it the girl paused and entered "Potatoe burrieto"....we laughed
So... Apparently, "Home" isn't the correct response when a cop asks for your address...
we can fight about whose fault it is later....naked.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Nothing like grinding all night with a hot ethnic guy dressed as a clown to help conquer your phobia. Halloween is fucked up.
Seriously? A BAR is SPONSORING my 21... What did you do for your 21 again??
He sent me a dick pic from work, but I could see all the pizzas in the background. Now I'm just hungry.
Lighting a fucking bong with a candle. Straight up dedication.
I'm the only person I know that carries solo cups, shot glasses, ping pong balls, two decks of cards, and a lawn chair in his trunk. I'm ready to turn anything, anywhere into a party.
He’s exactly what I’m looking for: he’s got a broken heart, a working penis and a new boat!!!
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