I feel like our house is getting pulled over.
party was madd awkward.. it was like every person who i sat next to in high school and never said hi to was there
Just found two Xanax on the floor at the tanning bed. And yes, Im taking them...looks like going to get cancer is paying off
halfway through eating me out he goes 'oh that reminds me i have to buy fish for good friday'
i just threw up in the porta potty. i am in no condition to be guarding anyone's life rite now.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
i feel like pizza bites are my only friend right now
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
It's official. I'm gonna fuck hot art class guy. But this won't be like hot Samsung guy. I'm gonna make sure I follow through this time.
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Watching Faye Reagan porn all weekend for St Patty's day. Nothing has ever seemed more appropriate.
there is a spider sitting on top of my weed like he owns it or some shit
no but seriously tf do i do? i have that spider phobia but i think my lvoe of the weed overpowers it
I think if I send him enough nudes, he will buy my plane ticket.
Randomize