Alarm just got pulled in my exam
Swear it wasn't me
Dude, I just woke up on the floor of some random chick's floor with puke in my hair and a posted note on my forehead that said "It's over." Dude I wasn't even aware I was in a relationship...
He wanted to take me out and said we could "go huntin in the woods."
don't look now, but that cross eyed girl is staring at you... and me.
Is it wrong that I didn't stop masterbating when the credit card company called?
did you answer or finish?
both
her name was charlotte except you kept calling her chatroulette and yelling at her to show you her boobs
we've decided whoever is stupid enough to use the condom that's tacked to the wall deserves to get pregnant.
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
So what's today's forecast for the female rollercoaster you've been riding?
The condition was that I had to eat her out to Beethoven
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
I've been rehabbing my soul with cheese and wine lately
Every day I wake up and there is no spectacular morning wood waiting for me I get so sad.
on one hand I spent like $120 last night..on the other that was the best sex of my life
Im sorry for telling you id rather jump into traffic than date you again. I didnt mean to be so rude
Randomize