He screamed "Oh boy! Oh boy!" during climax.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
i think i just put your shirt on , but i don't remember . my body can't decide if it wants to move in slow motion or fast forward
Second wave of rafting ended in a concussion. Don't worry though, the paramedic says it's still not considered a DUI.
Dude, sorry for live texting you my binge drinking. If you'd like me to do the same for my hangover, I can share that I just had to sit down while q-tipping my ears.
Only thing worse than going to work with a hangover is going to work with a hangover then realizing that u don't have to work that day
I just took the cheapest shot in your honor
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
The walk of shame is a lot easier when I'm at a music festival and it's 12 feet from his tent to my tent
You are living the dream.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
So apparently it wasn't anything really bad, it's hemorrhoids. Which is the medical word for butthurt. I actually have ass ointment.
The only good thing about the sex was that he finally cracked the spot on my back that's been hurting.
so i was thinking... those 6 am shots weren't really needed.
Enjoy your early 30’s! You’re still young enough to catch a twenty something that can fuck 4 times a day, hot enough to date forty year old penises that can last long enough to give you multiple orgasms
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