remember that night jesus turned water into wine? DRUNKER.
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
I'm dreading the fact that when the dominoes guy comes, he will ask me if i placed an order under the name "high as shit".
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
I don't care if its bassically 3rd world. A country without a drinking age is a country without a drinking age.
Could you please tell them to stop whispering "thundercunt" every time I walk in the room?
The lady at walmart just said she is so happy im still alive....Was i that drunk on the 4th? Dont answer that
You kept chewing on the empty milk carton and saying "kitty" over and over again. It was an interesting night.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
Don't mention it
Just endorse me for cunnilingus on LinkedIn
After you smoke one night. Just whisper in a barely audible voice, "Grey Poupon"
we were having a conversation about big dicks and the chick at the table beside us turned to us said "me and my boyfriend just broke up a few days ago. Could you please NOT talk about big dicks"
Kids music just accidentally came on at this party. I didn't know how many stoners were here until they all sang along.
ugffhh I have work in 4 hours and have recieved zero sleep, seeing that I'm trapped in the arms of a snoring bear man. can't. breathe. lost in the forestry of his chest hair.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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