Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
He turned me into a screamer. Guess I'm really not a lesbian.
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
In sex ed. they really need to include a lesson on saying tampon in foreign languages, just in case.... Trying to ask the woman at the reception desk, who barely speaks English, for one just turned into an awkward game of charades.
Well I don't think you can suck his dick while he's making pizza. I think that goes against some health codes.
How was it playing wingman?
I feel like I was rockys coach watching him get the shit beaten out of him by Apollo creed
She knocked me and my drink to the ground with her ass. I have never been mad at someone for having a glorious booty.
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
We might as well just set our livers out to sea on burning ships
She showed up after 3 hours and proceded to make us all feel like resonable human beings. I dont know how she did it but she did it.
Why is there a traffic cone in the shower? And did you wash it with my body wash? It smells nice.
your keys are upstairs on the nightstand or I put them in the hole in the wall
LIKE ALL I WANT TO CURE MY HANGOVER IS PORKROLL AND LIKE 85% OF THIS COUNTRY DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IT IS
Randomize
