Please don't die.. At a gay bar... On a Wednesday. Obituaries are not allowed to be that entertaining.
but then i turned into a human whiteboard because i thought it was a good idea to bring out markers
Making and watching you take a mixed shot with vodka, chocolate syrup, tobasco sauce, cranberry juice, and sundried tomato juice wasnt the highlite of my night. Hearing you puking from downstairs was.
Hne relally is a cite oerfect gome. Nes awddddddddooooome.
There's still flour in my hair. And I don't even want to know what the neighbors think happened infront of my house.
Lots of alcohol last night skiing this morning = me throwing up off chairlift
You get drunk and try to bury your girlfriend in the sand JUST ONCE and all hell breaks loose
Can you please explain to me why there are 7 bags of tacos in my bed?
i just want a position where we can lock up like some sort of sexual megatron and go the whole night that way
Btw I have come to the conclusion that we really need to do it in a bed. Like at least once..
Netflix, eggnog, and bed? Maybe some hand stuff?
It was a frighteningly large penis to say the least
While we were doing it he looked up at me and said "Does your husband fuck you this good?" Talk about a mood killer....
I feel like my entire body is ashamed of me today
You're a god amongst men today
I'm totes in the mood to go home and like blindly inhale dangerous amounts of porn
Randomize
