She's holding my hand. I'm going to kill myself.
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Slugs feel like vagina... thought you would want to know
just found a piece of pizza in my dresser.....i remember you saying you were going to save one for later so i'm assuming this is your doing
I kind of feel like BP. I'm dressed in green and absolutely horrible for the environment.
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
My boss just high fived me after finding out i made it through lunch rush rolling on molly. To think this guy used to terify me.
I'm so busy i barely have time to have sex with myself. I have to talk myself into it like an old married couple.
I am seriously only coming over if there are McNuggets. I want 10 bitch. Honey mustard.
I just fell out of my doorway to go to class so if that doesn't describe how my night went idk what will
I'm sitting alone in a bar pretending to watch football because I don't know where the liquor store is around here and I'll be god damned I'm going to be sober on my day off.
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
So I fucked a guy with his mouth wired shut last night never thought id cross that off my imaginary bucket list
I just texted my mom from a strip club.
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
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