try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
thats the mark of a good guy. when you can period all over his leg and he still thinks you're beautiful!
Down at cameli's and some homeless dude just pulled out a taser. Awesome.
I was so scared, I actually heard my grandmother's voice in my head saying if I get pregnant, then my vagina will fall off. And then I'm going to die.
i dont understand blimps. what would happen if they collided would they just bounce off or fall to the ground.
dude how high are you right now?
do you think jeeves would know? you do it. ask jeeves.
This girl can open a bottle without using her hands and she's 21. She meets my standards
I'm just sayin' man be careful, that chick has castration written all over her.
I'd rather just be alone, than deal with this bullshit. I just want to be alone. Cats and vibrators never let you down.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
He made the Waffle House lady get me out of the car. This isn't a joke.
I can't tell if I'm still on the hangover from last night, or if I'm experiencing the one from tomorrow, because it was so powerful that it actually traveled back through time...
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
Wait. How did I get engaged last night?
Randomize
