We drank from noon till 5 am, there was adderall and nice jews involved it was just crazy
Just turned elections for the sorority into a drinking game. Right on.
Got 6 blowjobs in one weekend... new personal best.
sweetheart all i remember is you throwing up and saying "i thought things would be better now that barack obama is president"
he let me wear his jacket and there was a magnum and a bowl in his pocket ... I think im in love
Bullshit. No way. If I brushed past your penis it was completely coincidental.
The intern claims someone glued plastic eyeballs to his penis last night. He going to show everyone in the conference room at 3pm. There is a $5 cover charge.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
THIS ISN'T WORKING THIS IS THE DRUNK LEADING THE DRUNK
Also, I saved your name as Everclear last night. No idea why I did that.
Do you remember biting my ear and whispering quotes of Pride and Prejudice last night?
We both work at 8am and I have to shower but my roommate is passed out on our bathroom floor with the door locked. Merry Christmas.
Some small part of me hopes I'm on the probationary list because of seeing the Dean at that fetish party.
The Easter sex puns were too abundant
I got up and left his place at 3am because I remembered I had a burrito in my car.
Randomize
