that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
he said i'm too pretty to suck penis
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Apparently senior citizens don't like that position
Also, just saw a kid in a gorilla costume being questioned by a boardwalk cop. I love ocean city.
I think it's time we have the "weird fetish" talk.
at which point he tried to give himself a prince albert piercing with the stapler on his desk.
Just a smidgen more estrogen and shed be golden
She's got a legit dose of dude going on
No kidding. All she needs is a cheek full of chewing tobacco and I'd have fucked John wayne.
Thanksgiving Shitshow: My grandparents found me passed out on the bathroom floor wearing nothing but a scarf made of toilet paper
She wants me to spank her and yell "Kerry! Your father is disappointed with your choices!" Fuck up but crazy hot? Or just fuck up crazy?
The three of us were sitting silently in my dining room at 4:30 am, half drunk, eating cold spaghetti and listining to death metal. I need a fucking cigarette.
I've only fucked to 2 Fleetwood Mac songs, that must be why my life feels so empty.
Fucked him in a graveyard. Need plan b.
Compositionally, that's actually a really nice picture.
And your penis looks really nice too.
Just dropped the most perfectly rolled joint into the toilet I just finished taking a shit in, hadn't even had time to flush, 5 second rule?
No!
Randomize
