so... another position just opened up(704) Oh really?(704) Is it John's?(704) Or did you find a new way to take a penis?
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
I probably shouldn't have slept with him. I feel like that may have given him the wrong idea.
the bride spent most of the night apologizing to people she had punched earlier.
now that you've tased me I refuse to buy you flowers
Everything sucks i just wanna cry and smoke a bowl and pet my cat and die. All at the same time
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
i am bringing shame upon my ancesors with my weak liver valhalla will never accept me
Like I've never seen her that drunk. She's usually like quiet and doesn't say she'll fuck someone on a futon
I have an epic ass bruise from a wheel tonight and I am drunk now because I decided vodka heals all wounds.
Reminder: You could have had sex with me while wearing a tiara.
New drinking game idea: Take a shot for every republican you see on facebook bitching about the ruling.
Soooo you know how I said I was trying to be a rational adult? Well that led to me fucking a rational adult today.
Let's just say if my bucket list had "fngered in the middle of a club by a complete stranger while being sprayed by UV paint" then that is well and truly ticked off.
I got dominos and had to stop whilst eating and take a moment of silence for how good it was
Randomize
