i have i love cock written on my hand and a vagina drawn on my arm and i just finished eating breakfast with the whole fam for mothers day
ahah at least you got away with it
nope...my gran was the one who informed me
I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
its raining. im dressed as yoda and im trick or treating alone. and i wonder why im still a virgin..
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
just looked up how to break up with someone nicely on google. glad to know im not the only one who looks up this shit.
He asked me to grab his balls and yell "thats a spicy meat-a-ball" Last time I do requests.
this guy had a colored tattoo of Chucky on his leg, whatever drugs he does, i want them
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
Chicken salad taco, you know, when you're out of bread and crackers, and high.
Dude, had to, it's Canada Day, I fucked her for Canada. Seriously, I put my Canadian flag on my bed and fucked her on it.
How would I get in touch with Carly Rae Jepsen if I wanted to thank her for the loss of my virginity?
I always feel bad for the sober driver... Never been me but I feel bad... empathetic AF
No, no... It was great. I feel like my liver took a vodka shower and washed it's hair with pabst
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
Randomize
