And now we're talking about squeezing babies out of vaginas...
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
As I climbed in the bathroom window from the room I noticed both him rommates staring and talking about me in the hall...
... They left for 10 minutes and came back with a lobster he's in the toilet downstairs
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
And I kind of want to stare at skinny jonah hill like a weird zoo exhibit lol.
I screamed "I want dick!" in the middle of the intersection. So many hot guys. I wish you were here.
I needed tweezers to get my thong out of my ass this morning.
Pooping with Eye of the Tiger playing. Not a single fuck shall be given.
She said I'm going to get you stoned and have you fuck me on the couch.
I'm starting to think that Cosmic Steve ripped me off
I feel like I lost a fight with an 800 lb gorilla made of tequila
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
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