with your own penis?
So... My dad just saw the Plan B package and the beer cans in my backseat.
Oh its cool I'm sure he already knows you're a whore and an alcoholic.
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
The fact that you think you peed off a roof shows you shouldn't have been on a roof.
on a scale of 1 to 'no sex' how busy are you this week?
This lumberjack with a huge beard is doing his group presentation in a dirty t shirt that says "I'm only 2 girls short of a threesome"
maybe these stereotypes wouldn't come up if you would stop taking body shots off another
Well my sources tell me she just happens to appear in an episode girls gone wild.
I know someone that will spend hours looking for her. He also has many of said movies. And I will do it for free!
While you wait, fill out your state patrol application. Not trying to be your mom, I just really want to fuck a cop.
you know it's a good party when the fucking floor caves in. THE FUCKING FLOOR.
I'm supposed to be maturing, but no instead I'll be shitting my pants in Delaware for my 30th.
Hahahaha nah you won't shit your pants - but you will fully try mushrooms.
Well, our assistant supervisor caught us on the back stairs...he invited us on a double date with his fiance and him. I guess our job approves of the relationship?
He's giving me the absolute bare minimum amount of attention. Like whatever motherfucker, I've had like six super likes on tinder today
Was make out with a 38 year old lesbian on our bucket list? if it was you can go ahead and cross that one off.
I just puked into a clean basket of laundry.
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