There are just some things I refuse to put in my mouth.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You put a nerf gun to his head and demanded him to take you to taco bell..
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
Why are you seriouly talking to me about this when there naked pics of blake lively on the internet? Priorities man...
It was honestly the most delicious alcohol I've ever drank, plus the added risk of going blind from methanol poisoning really enhanced the experience.
I blacked out at the bar, and blcked in getting a handjob on a roller coaster. Sober me is jealous of drunk me.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
it was either a cry for help or you were gargling vodka. we didnt care either way.
Hey remember that spam cooked in dr pepper we made? 10x better when the dr pepper is rum
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
I totally just pulled my thong out of my purse at the grocery store. Oops.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
Wow you are like a taller more attractive sex Yoda.
I just shaved my legs via the sink as to not wake my parents up because I know I'll be having marathon sex tomorrow after my certification exam... so this is life after college.
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