let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
And i quote: "where's y'alls from comin' in with them accents?" - from a mississipi mcdonalds
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
You were yelling at the bowl of salad and telling it to quit taunting you and telling you to go to tacobell
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
There are apples in the microwave and a cup of twigs in the fridge. I think she's hiding in the pantry, I can hear her giggling. Leaving her to it.
Well after last night I am convinced he is real life Tyler Durden. He only exists to me and somehow keeps me out of jail this entire time
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
So when I eventually, if ever, find someone I'd like to marry, do you think having people fly to africa for a lion king themed wedding is too much?
Gotta admit I did think about bartering you out to the gay guys for $20 and the dudes flashy neck scarf
i made the walk of shame wearing her booty shorts that said juicy on the back. i'm still counting it as a good night
Up until today, I never would have thought I'd have to tell someone not to color on the cat
Went to the lab to print and realized the guy next to me was the one we stole all the beer from last night..... Oops
Someone left a middle school yearbook here. I recognized one kid from banging his mom last year.
You mentioned his name and i threw up a little.
Randomize
