I can tell how much and what I drank by my morning shits
you took out flashcards at the bar and went around asking guys what totalitarianism meant.
they almost convinced me to put "Funbags" in the 'other names you may be known as' section of the job application
once I found out that a naked stripper wasn't gonna pop out of the cake I kind of just lost interest in the party
So I'm up to masturbating three times a day, drunk textin my ex, not doing any hw and I've failed half of my tests so far
Sounds better than last semester
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
it's 2:30 on a sunday and I just won a wine chugging contest. I'm never graduating.
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
Relaxed was like phase 1 of this phase 7 high
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
but I truly enjoy making out with my best friend more than my boyfriend
I think I'm actually too depressed to do drugs, wow.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
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