it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
smoking a cig and getting head on the last night of my cruise. and she doesn't mind that i'm texting you right now. this is now on my list of top 10 nights of my life.
I learned the names of so many hookups when they read them at graduation
so the girl i've been sleeping with for 3 weeks now just figured out that i don't know her name
It was at that moment that I realized I was alone. Alone and drunk on an Epcot ride.
Just remember that she is a giant dick-sucking forehead and you are better than that.
She is ok w me having sex for money. Just gotta find rich grandmas.
So I am guessing last night was a success we are all accounted for and only 3 of us have hospital bracelets on
Because selling drugs to kids never goes out of business. We get older, they stay the same stupid.
i can feel the knowledge leaking out of my brain
replace it with alcohol - nature abhors a vacuum
you started petting my head and said "there there, majestical unicorn. it won't be long before we get you back to neverland."
Woke up in the hospital naked with my id's taped to my chest. Also apparently puked on two guys, two girls and an escalade (at the same time). Good night.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
hey. this is your former cousin. you boned my best friend last night.
How does it make you feel that I can't control my vagina around you?
Randomize
