Just found a copy of intimate toy times in my mom's trash can...
my dad told me i had to spend my money wisely..so i spent the money he gave me for a desk chair on weed. ill be so high i wont even notice its gone
just woke up with an anonymous loaf of bred in my bed and a piece in my mouth. this says alot about my life.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
I can't wait to see her breast feed this thing
Yes, that was me on the jumbo tron. No, i don't know why i was hiding.
I have dibs on his crisis of faith.
Oh FYI, people asked how/why I met you and I didn't want to say "drunk at a party on an air mattress" so I made a story up. It was a very cute and charming story with no alcohol.
I'm confused as to why I have a picture of your boobs in response to a photo of my father
I lost the bet. I now have to do all chores sans clothing of any kind. I give it a week before I'm knocked up...
I just found a weed leaf in my leg hair..
Yeah but sometimes your vagina needs to be fed and when we are drunk we tend to eat junk food
My balls are resting on a block of frozen cheese in a sealed bag
He put rainforest music on before we had sex I felt like I was in the Amazon
WTF DOES CAROLINE HAVE GLASS IN HER FACE
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