shes got a really nice body. but her face is eh.
you dont need a face to have sex
If everyone lived like me, we would need 5.9 earths. Fuck yes america.
Let's just say for some reason we thought it was okay to make a burrito smoothie.
I'm done. I'm tired and there's a topless pic of me floating around the nation's largest 3G network.
I just won 10 dollars from out chugging the bar tender and I found out that the baby aint mine in the last hour. I don't even care if l get laid tonight any more.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
New low: just got woken up by my 9 year old cousin throwing an empty at me and telling me to get my life together.
She cracked her neck before the blowjob and I knew shit just got real.
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
I just did a booty-call caliber shave job in preparation for this weekend. Fuck being ladylike; I'm tryna get LAID-ylike
We ended up on their roof with our pants around our ankles shotgunning beers at one point.
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
My manager just held my hair while I threw up in a dumpster. New low.
Well, I told him that it's not all about him. Then I gave him the best blow-job in the history of blow-jobs.
I jerked off 12 hours ago exactly. I owe it to my penis to get laid.
Randomize
