Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
just remind me when i get fired soon that august is the month i started pregaming work
i'm not the one sitting naked in my room playing with my boobs and a cat.
I love how kegs are figured into our monthly bills
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
I'm keeping track of how many times I've said "Shhh, act like you're not naked." in my life. So far, 3 times.
Got another job?
If by job you mean clever way of getting free tattoos, then yes. I got another job.
too bad I'd hit a car before I'd hit a bush.
Are we talking about jumping from windows or your willingness to fuck a car instead of a woman?
250 people in this lecture & my prof asks who already drank green beer this morning& is drunk right now. I WAS THE ONLY ONE TO RAISE MY HAND
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
I feel like 20 angels jizzed in my mouth. This cupcake is DELICIOUS!
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