Two kids are drinking pounders in class. I think I'm hanging out with the wrong group of friends.
My family is watching Intervention and taking notes. I need to leave NOW!
jusi got death stares at taco bell because I asked if Denise was working.
At what number of girls whose last names are stored in your phone book as drinking establishments does it become excessive?
Apparently I fed my Plan B to my turtle last night.
his mom walked in, looked at me, sighed n nsaid 'when are u gonna learn' n walked out
On second thought, trying to signify she was a butter face by wiping my bagel on her cheek may not have been in my best of interests
I fell asleep at the bar. And the bouncer threw a snowball at my face.
just watched the video of me leading you with a trail of french fries.
She brought a box of chocolates to give the bartender and now he's giving her free shots.. Why didn't we think of that?
Considering the last guy I had sex with was gay, this was a huge improvement.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
Just for the record, you referenced Harry Potter while complaining about being torn between the Slytherin (lesbians) and Gryffindor (your mostly straight friends) houses (tables)
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
Randomize