If that was your dad, he is hot
i may not always bang 16 year olds but when i do, i prefer hot ones
So I used the "I've never cummed from a BJ before" line last night.
And that worked?
9 for 9! Not only does it give them a goal but they have a sense of accomplishment afterwards.
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
I was in the shower, he came in, had me give him a blow job, and left. I'm pretty sure I was just booty called. While taking a shower.
You really need to get over the whole "jail" thing. Its really not that bad.
Can't promise anything, there's vodka in my thermos
We're trying to see who can drink the most and still be eligible to donate blood tomorrow.
Oh my god, I am the best RA ever. I'm teaching my freshman girls how to deep throat on bananas as a group bonding activity. I'm making the religious ones eat them for potassium.
You pretended to pelvic thrust my mother on the boat while my 92 year old grandmother looked on. Thanks.
I whipped my shit out and she just stared at it with a mean face. It was like a face off in a heavyweight boxing fight.
Do you know what the cost code is for strip clubs? I'm filling out my company expense report right now
I'm using my dog as a pillow. He's cool with it.
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
They live across the street from a school baseball field so they have porter potties across the street and let's just say that I'm grateful they exist
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