it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I don't think brook has ever known best
I mean I found and stalk his moms facebook.. that obsessed.
My favorite part was walking in the bathroom, you fixing yourself in the mirror, calling your reflection a fag, then throwing a haymaker into the paper towel dispenser before going back out to the bar.
I have been drinking at the bar so long today that I literally just found a spiderweb from my leg to the bar.
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I found a half-finished mass text from my California weekend that said "things I want to rape: you, things, stuff, and le"
We really gotta change brands again because 2-ply is making us feel like the celebrities we aren't.
Where the condoms are as broken as my dreams
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Hey, it's all about finding the bright side. And boobs are definitely a bright side.
Its only once in a life time you get to pick your vcard swiper up from jail
bonging vodka is the same level of "good idea" as eating machetes
sarah's view on last night: a threesome to make things less awkward. oh, well done.
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
