please just be careful, i just switched my facebook status to "in a relationship", i would look really pathetic if i had to change it back to "single" already
i remember too much of last night for it to have been successful
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
Just saw ur booking photo. Love that u were already wearing orange. Its like u knew
I don't think child baring hips is a compliment.
Just so you know, you're MY booty call. Feel degraded.
im not sure what exactly happened but i may need help faking my own death
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
Maybe we should invest in one and when one of us wishes to be a hot mess in a wheel chair the other one will push the mess around to wherever it wants to go.
BTW, you ever shave a dick into my dog, I'll cut you. I'll laugh first, but then I'll cut you
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
I was his one phone call from jail and I hung up on him. He's fine though were gonna go to a party now.
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
I want you to worship my cock.
That's not how you start a conversation.
sometimes u just gotta ride a dildo and forget about life
Randomize
