he just said he'd buy the porn
its a step up from the last guy
Between the two of us weve fucked every guy at this table
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
obviously you don't know the college version of myself. if there's something i'm ALWAYS willing to put up for it's alcohol.
She compares her life to Teen Mom. She's 28.
I like to think of it as a lesbian feast.
Remember that pineapple I soaked in vodka last month? Just found it- nothing is growing on it? Think it's safe?
My head feels like a nest made of hair and cum
He raised his arm and dropped it in his sleep to smack himself awake. He knows his phone has an alarm clock right?
I just want to let it be known that I almost put my phone in the fridge.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
He offered me a trade. He'll come sober to my parents 25th anniversary dinner if I let him tie me up for an hour.
Update. bondage is a lot harder than it looks.
During sex his mom asks from the other side of the door, "Do you like avocados?" Who doesn't like avocados?
My greatest accomplishment today was eating a box of Thai food the size of a toddler.
New low: uploading my contacts into Facebook in an attempt to get the name of the girl I brought home last night.
Randomize
