I just had human shit waiting for me at the top of the escalator at Bowery. This is truly the Lord's day.
May the Lord look upon you in favor and give you pees.
Learned a lot. Like boys with frosted tips still exist. And that they're sensitive to constructive criticism.
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
Valium party in the driveway. Attendance: 1. Don't make me do this alone.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
Dude he's not responding... I'll take that as an unpleasant visit to the clinic
Finally hooked up w/ that yoga instructor chick. Got a little more than I expected. Like a full on bush more than I expected. How do you tell a girl that her bush scares you?
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
Malt liquor mondays...better in theory.
Your anal douche was on bathroom counter. Now it's in dumpster. Not ok. I am mad. Very mad.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
I am eating a king sized snickers in the strip club. Good morning.
Oh dear God, they have a song about Mom...
i feel like ive seen the light, but not in the nasty christian way. thats gross. say no to jesus, kids
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
