If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
how hairy? two words: wookie tits
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Yes..we had amazing sex that I have a 50 percent chance of remembering.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
i actually pissed myself from laughing when I saw the old man in lingerie carrying a spiderman purse. I dont know if he was real or if it was the tequila, but my head hurts.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I hate it when fuck holes buy me drinks at the bar. You don't know my order. You don't know me. You don't know where I've been. You don't know my life.
A few days ago I apparently came up, asked her to make me soup, and handed her a can of coconut milk.
I found our waiter on grindr, gave him my number, and got him to send a dick pic. Still not getting laid but close enough?
A 3am FaceTime to go to IHOP is the closest thing to a bootycall that I'm getting
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
That awkward moment when you bring a guy back to your place then have to tell him you only have magnums.
Well I had to have sex with him so he would buy me plan b. The fact that I had sex with someone else last night who couldn't afford it is irrelevant.
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