so when she was in the shower, I took a pic of my dick with her phone and sent it to her brother saying, this just fucked your sister
First date. He's wearing a tuxedo shirt and keeps asking me about our future children. Escape plan #3 is now in action...
Still bad at ganbling. Still good at dringing.
Apparently I kept telling people I was a pro tennis player again...
As soon as he lost the election, the reception's open bar became a cash bar. I have never been so disappointed in my countrymen.
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
this just proves how much faith i have in "us".. what should we be for halloween..?
He won't sleep with me again until I commit...
Run. There is other dick in the sea, less clingy dick.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
just really comprehended the fact that I'm getting high at the same place I used to play as a child. the nostalgia and thc is mixing together in one, intense wave. WHO HAVE I BECOME
They've taken all the lighthearted fun out of S&M.
It's 4/20 and I spent the morning in the gym and am working later tonight. I don't even have any weed. Why am I adult-ing again?
Honey you are a beautiful woman but I came over to eat your pizza and fuck your brother. And you're out of pizza.
I would have wore underwear last night if I knew I had to change a tire this morning
OMG OMG OMG!!!! I made his penis bleed!! I repeat I MADE HIS PENIS BLEED!!!!
Randomize