i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
well, someone with very low standards is getting their dick sucked
while we were having sex she stopped and said, "god is always watching". Then she started again with no other words said. We were fucked up.
Idk if you remember me telling you about him, but I gave him a hj under the stars. Kind of added a little disney aspect to the whole experience.
I made this pact with my vagina, though. No more heartless fuckery.
You insisted we put glow sticks on you so that we didn't lose you if you went pee in the dark.
I sold him an eighth while trippin balls wearin my girlfriends tutu and tube top. and i was talking about albinos the entire time
well, he defiantly picked the right guy to buy drugs from
MY TWIN SISTER IS ENGAGED. I REPEAT, MY SCREW UP OF A SISTER IS ENGAGED. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
I'll be there in 20 with vodka.
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
I am available for nakedness
Why the fuck was I face down on the floor with you mounting me like a horse anyway? I'm so confused
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
SOOOOOO I just attempted to go to the gym, hungover. Ended up throwing up in the bathroom. I hope people think I'm just working out really hard
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