I walked in on him cutting a hole in the condom.
only you would photoshop your dick
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
At least a dozen asian tourists will be showing their friends pictures of me peeing off of Hoover Dam with a cop pointing his gun at me when they get home. I worry about the impact on their children.
What I dont get, is for a man with a penis his size, to choose to go back with another girl instead of one that he says is the best sex he's ever had. He cant afford to be picky.
She keeps referring to it as an "us" Either she is seriously mistaken on what fuck buddies are or she learned another meaning of the word "us"
Even though ive seen her get fisted by another girl at a party, shes still a doctor.
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
bring the pregnancy test and the margarita mix, see you in 15
She's the good dick fairy. You buy her a beer and half an hour later the best lay in the place is asking to take you home.
You know that pill i snorted last night? Yeh, its just hitting me now..... At work
U NO SLUT. YOUR HEART IS JUST FREE.
So i've noticed that drunk me erases sent messages to hide them from sober me, because drunk me knows that sober me will be PISSED at drunk me.
I am going to constantly be reminded of you for the next couple of days because of how sore my vagina is. It's just the price I have to pay.
Randomize
