Mr ***** is in bed with his super hot wife giving her 18 inches of pleasure
so the situation is a+b=c where "a" is how much you weight, "b" is my gravitational pull, and "c" is how erect your penis is.
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
Quoting wale wont save you from herpes
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
The stoners next door have their couch on the sidewalk again, shirtless, soaking their feet in a baby pool and listening to loud ukulele music. I want their life.
Does your gf have any friends she can hook me up with?
Better looking than her though please.
APPARENTLY giving your friend one of your shoes so that you avoid the no shoes no service rule makes you drunk...
I couldn't drown my sorrows in an ocean of jack daniels. They may have scuba gear.
So I put a beer on your bed and jumped on th3 other side of the bed like in the commercials. You my good sir, owe me a budweiser that your bed drank.
I had her buy me a cock ring, so we might test that out. We are presently playing yahtzee.
Cock rings and yahtzee. Like peanut butter and jelly.
He made me put my cow print vest and my cowboy hat from my ' sheriff woody' costume and said I'll show you a woody. What I charmer huh!? I love make up sex
Man, you got so high you own goaled yourself in FIFA then got up celebrating.
he keeps various drugs in his kitchen cupboard like groceries. that is my new life goal as an adult.
Nothing like having a family watch you dry heave at the end of the dock
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