well I can't set my house on fire every night
let's have our labels/stereotypes/careers for each kid by next week.
oh how i love working at summer camp.
Went to mcdonalds... Wishing I could throw up the last 20 hours of my life.
he walked in on you at the party drunkenly dancing alone on the bed wearing mardi gras beads, sunglasses, and using one ski pole as a microphone.... and you STILL got laid. i dont get your life.
I am willing to take shots of vanilla extract. That's how this night has been.
Well, he has like 3 girlfriends but I think I could be polygamist for that dick.
We should bet how many people are going to get alcohol poisoning next weekend and whoever wins gets a free Starbucks.
Sunday Funday has been cancelled indefinitely, due to lack of self control of all parties involved.
the only two hours i was sober on this trip and i managed to break my toe. no one will believe this.
Some nice lady just gave me a beer out of her purse. I love youth hockey
Just FYI, by the transitive property my breasts have now touched the Stanley Cup.
So, what my linguistics project should really be called is "I happen to sleep/makeout with a lot of bilinguals and am now using them to help me graduate"
then he told me my boobs feel like "if you put mushroom soup in a baggie." I don't know how I'm supposed to feel about this.
Thanks to a bad fart decision during a production meeting, I am now on my way to Target to buy new pants. How is your day?
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
Randomize
