The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
I think I just inadvertently started a sex competition with my roommate and her boyfriend.
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Need your help. He's locked himself in the bathroom with his bong and his childhood collection of Goosebumps books.
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
We are going to get clementines. And shoot them out of a ballon launcher. That's after we come up to the ivy with a bullhorn and reck havoc. Where are you.
Yeah, if you don't like strip clubs you won't like microwave chimichangas.
If your plan is to re-bang every girl you banged in high school - you're gonna need a spread sheet and clip board.
How would your parents feel if we installed a sex swing?
After we had breakup sex it took him longer to say goodbye to my boobs than it did to me...
Well she made a 15 year old cry, the grandmother did an ice luge and I woke up to the sound of sex moans
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
if by making eggnog you mean drinking all the spiced rum, then yes, she's making eggnog
He's so drunk that he's ignoring me and just doing what my cat does.
Oh god he's trying to eat cat food... I don't know if I should stop him or continue laughing....
Randomize
