Dude judst bought snd smokked tfour white widoew jointsd in Asmsterdam. Wstching the Cvhiefs gsme. Oh Boy.
You are why other countries hate Americans. But I say God bless you.
I think I saw a glimmer of recognition, but she must not have been able to make me out through all of her whorishness.
my mom used to put diet coke in my bottle. i can pretty much handle anything.
i love that you felt the need to clarify that you don't actually have drugs in your vagina.
Hi. I probably already told you this mid puke, but thanks again for babysitting me last night. How did I get in the car?
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
If you really wanted to hide the fact you were gay, you could have at least had the sense to not get drunk in the same bar as your bf.
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
my grandpa paid for my boob job but he just doesn't know it.
Thinking about licking your asshole. And hugs and stuff too I guess.
I'm basically cruising around listening to 90's gangsta rap with my meatball sub telling people to go fuck themselves
I'm going to come in the middle of the night and attack you with spoons
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
i think if a sober person was watching us they would have not thought we were witty
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