Is it wrong of me that I wish I could be a midget for a day so I can give head standing up?
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
you kept telling us that in dog beers you only had one
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
I'm going to make a mold of my tits to bake a cake for him for our anniversary.. I can see the pride in his eyes now.
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I'm going to pound you from behind over a table at the bar while I pull your hair and call you a whore...please pass along that message to Rob
dude, where are you? this beer run has taken so long i read war and peace, took a nap, and shaved 3 times.
He pulled over in the Compass Bank parking lot so I could dry-heave, but I decided I couldn't vomit there because "I bank here."
What's goes good with Everclear?
Pepto-Bismol and a sandwich.
So now I'm just going to brush my teeth, get high, and go to sleep. Like an adult
I'm too drunk to remember your name. I'm too drunk to recall where i'm currently at. And i'm too drunk to give a shit.
Every time I see this chick she's swimming naked at a pool party. That's gotta mean something right?
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