you're like the ceasar milan of boners... you understand them on a different level.
he's legally blind and likes the sound of my voice, good enough for me.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Well i tried snorting sugar. so either that made me puke or the fact that i drank water from a fish tank
All I remember is holding on to the elevator asking it politely to stop spinning
No. And Marissa said shitting in the handicap bathroom at work does not get you into the club. You have to shit yourself. She said.
Both his mom and his sister were hitting on me when I stopped by today. He isn't a real friend anyway, right?
God only knows how I ended up there doing crown royal shots to the titanic and insighting a bar wide shit fest when I asked the dj to play levels
we def had a heart to heart that turned into a BJ last night
Post breakup Disney World may be my best idea ever! Tinkerbell just grabbed my dick and gave me a kiss! This really is the happiest place on earth!
drunk brunch me or lose me forever
I successfully navigated a full, lengthy interaction with my dad in which he never asked me if I was freshly baked. 10 points.
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Molly I still can't believe u puked in that guys hands and still got laid
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
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