"Tonight I'm turning swine flu into an std" this might be how zombies come about. Peace civilization.
Too bad it's not "confirm, ignore or not unless I've had 20+ beers"
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
Not only was there cake on the wall but someone shoved cake and meat in a cup and put it in the fridge.
i'm going to invent a mini fridge that can hang from faucets so i don't have to get out of the bathtub anymore for a cold beer. its a million dollar idea
when i saw his roomate the next night he kept openly referring to me as "the girl who orgasms loud" when he would try to get my attention
A beer is a heart your wish makes!!!
You can't spell "party" without "RA."
You know what else you can't spell it without? "Gonna get fired."
Thanks for your faith in my ability to stay sober while writing final essays. It's...unearned.
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
ready for a night of bad decisions, horrible moral standards, and an unhealthy amount of illegal substances.
And I think she just drunkenly ordered an ipad. she said it was so pretty she couldn't keep it "locked up" because an ipad has to be let free.
breakfast this morning: omelette, Valium and baileys hot chocolate
Now that sounds like the breakfast of champions
You know you started drinking too early in the day when you have a hangover at midnight
thats called having FUN
The best walk of shames are on the highway
Randomize
