I think my grandma died before she was convinced I was straight
I'm pretty sure he came before I knew he was inside me.. Didn't think that was his plan when he said he was gonna do things I've never experienced before
Holy shit. Do you realize what this means? Officially all of my ex-bfs are either dead or gay
If one more "stranger" walks up to me at the bar and asks how I have been, I am going to rehab.
nothing like a tattoo of a large eagle attacking a small eagle whos attacking a shark to bond to siblings together for life
Last two new years I ended in jail by 12. Can we wait until its actually 12:02 this time to do something stupid. I'd like to spend the first minute of 2012 free.. At least.
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
Came home from this girls horse at 6am to find a guy lighting off roman candles in front of my door. Best walk of fame I've ever had.
How the fuck can he download so much porn but not know how to find the Skype app?
That moment when you realize the hot british guy named rory you drunkenly made out with at a bar is American, is named Tyler, and has a girlfriend.
So this is how i'm celebrating Easter? By eating chicken nuggets and masturbating all day. What a life.
All I can remember from last night was eating nutella and touching myself to Weird Science.
I really wanna treat my body good. Because i plan on doing drugs
First time not coming to this class high in a month and a half, never again will i put myself thru this torture
I just learned that I could drop out of school and spend the rest of my savings on a giraffe are you free this weekend
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