I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
Nothing says fuck you quite like putting your used condom in someones mailbox for them to find in the morning.
I actually had to roll up my long sleeves to masturbate. I hate the winter
My sheets, bed, and bathroom are covered in blood. She needed 14 stitches after a trip to ER. This is the last white girl I ever hookup with.
you have no chance. her best friend is a human abstinence poster.
Sorry I fell asleep again. I'm in the shower now. Door is unlocked. Condoms are in my desk. I want your game face on for when I get out.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
I'm about to start putting my tampons in the microwave for a few seconds these plastics applicators and this weather don't mix
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
Multi-day drunkenness is to binge drinking as black diamonds are to skiing. They're tough and confusing and you hurt afterwards, but you did it and you probably got an alright story along the way.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I lose my morals, my dignity, and my selfie stick :(
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
what are you up to?
it's 8pm, i've already showered and gotten in bed. if you wanted to make plans u should have asked 3 months in advance
Randomize
