Considering the face that your still in jail Im gunna go with no.
I have eleven tally marks and an infinity sign drawn on my wrist in permanent marker. Senior bar crawl stole my liver.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
I'm the only adult here not drinking and their 2 year old daughter is trying to play dolls with me.. I've never been so demoralized in my life.
She just kept tellin me God was coming back and he was leavin her with a bag of stale doritoes and shitty friends.
I just stole a cupcake from somebody's bottle service
And I got $4 when somebody made it rain.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
Ps. I feel like I may pee myself this weekend. Either drunkenly or out of excitement. Toss up
I don't know if it was his cologne or his Jesus hair, but he was much more fuckable than last time I saw him.
Now that I think about it, it may have been the 6 pitchers of beer.
I'm about one sudden movement away from being able to cross "throw up in a fortune 100 company's bathroom" off my bucket list.
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
I just spent 5 minutes saying how beautiful you are and you come back with dont get fat cause you have weird nipples.
It feels like I was drinking gasoline last night.
What's worse having drunken sex with hot married man or breaking the diet one week in?
Randomize