I have no idea what her name is. I only remember putting my dick between her ass cheeks.
Finally jerked of with a banana peel.
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
My mom just used the words "ice cunt". It may be an interesting day afterall.
Well I woke up with a note on me reading Dear Passed Out Girl, and ending with why I shouldn't drink so much. Damn Tequilla.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
I am omw to AA Fellowship by the sea w Jenny and a stripper who just paid for our jetski with 85 $1 bills
Smoked a topless bowl this morning. For International Women's Day. Quite liberating.
i vomited out of my nose in three different houses so far, i will be back for my boots tomorrow
i repeatedly had to ask him if he was into this because he kept talking about random things while i jerked him off. i got annoyed and in order to annoy him back, i told him i wanted to watch him do it. he also talked about basketball WHILE cumming. NEVER AGAIN.
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
He told me we shouldn't hang out because it would be weird and then snap chatted me a picture of his dick
I'm recreating the you're a wizard harry video with a guy on snapchat whilst having snapchat sex with another... Adulting is fun
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
My professor just said irregardless, get me out of here
I guess he's ir-illiterate
Randomize