dude chill. it wont be anything like your seventh grade birthday party.
Mr. Last Night just informed me I told him to be very quiet when he left this morning and high-fived him as a goodnight kiss. Drunk me is slutty and manly.
Jeremys mom is here. I gave her mad jello shots and now were griding. ima give it to her: ultimate payback for him fucking my gf.
Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
The only thing that made me get out of bed this morning was knowing that tonight, I don't plan on remembering what happened today
Sorry the STD update turned into an attempt at a bootycall, but at least we both know we're clean now
I was in the library and saw 2 dudes hackysacking in a study room with 3 girls working. I asked if I could join; as soon as I closed the door the chicks offered me tequila shots. study session w/everyone cancelled, I'm busy.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
Also, sex on a first date is no, right? Really, I just don't want to clean my apartment, but I'm trying to hide behind "morals" in an effort to appear less lazy.
We exchanged spring break stories last night. Open relationships are the best.
She text me that night and asked how the dick was and I quote my drunk self "average at best"
Also I just had a pointless meeting and the only thing I accomplished were my kegals
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
Randomize
