too bad you live with your parents still
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
it took me about 5 minutes before I knew it was in her ass. i thought the first time would be a bit more special
I woke up this morning and saw that I had transferred $0.75 from my savings account to my checking account.
She's gonna be fat in the future. On a side note I had a "It's not you, it's me." conversation with a bottle of jack last night.
When sleeping with someone new: should you hide the magnum condoms, or let him know what he has to live up to?
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
i introduced myself to everyone by my new name, thundergooch. i threatened the neighbors with a hammer when they used my real name. needless to say, sailor jerry was not kind to me.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
Apparently I'm a "fire hazard"
I named my Roomba after my pot dealer. I have a problem, don't i?
I was really excited when I saw a billboard for neverbethirsty.org this morning. Then I realized it was for a church.
We need to catch up immediately. I took ecstasy and made out with carrot face this weekend.
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
Want to go to Victoria’s Secret? His fiancée is out of town and I’m going to try and stop the wedding with lingerie and lots adventurous sex
Absolutely! I love a good sexual filibuster!
Randomize
