Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
Drinking bud light and eating rice cakes...this is the closest to getting in shape for spring break as its going to get.
Just used my last prints at the library for brackets instead of final reviews. Hello March.
i'm so sad bro, I can't get any pussy. I'm so sad
Do you remember trying to use a pencil, pen, and sunglasses as your second form of ID at the bar when they wouldn't let you in last night?
you are never too drunk for berry picking
Wait is this black Chris #1, cocaine Chris, or gay Chris?
No this is saxophone Chris
You passed out in your dogs bed and you only willingly woke up because I told there was a bottle of vodka and a snickers bar waiting for you upstairs
Doing a small happy dance cause my cocaine successfully went through airport security
I lost Mario kart three times but I got laid so it wasn't the WORST night I've ever had.
Today's goals: get day drunk then sober up in time for the walking dead tonight.
I woke up to rachel asking "did anyone else fall out of a tree last night?"
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
You know when you're a kid and you play at the pool until you passed out? It was like that except instead of playing it was sex.
Randomize
