I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
Counseling BFF to break up with her BF. We will get that 3-way
Her desktop wallpaper is a collage of penises she fucked.
Law school has no idea what kind of prospect they have coming in. I just convinced a cop not to take me to jail by asking him if he really felt like cleaning puke out of his car tonight.
Then he claimed me as his prize for 3rd place in a wing eating contest. Too romantic.
I've come to the conclusion that Jesus and 2013 are haters.
When she asked why I felt bad I said that it may have had something to do with the gin and cold pizza I had for breakfast.... And then I reflected on what my life has become.
someone cut his neck open pretty bad with a broken beer bottle. We were so close to his house that we carried him home, but when we got there he casually laid on his bed and said he was just gonna sleep it off. WHO DOES THAT
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
I just got winded making my bed. How do you think the workout plan is going?
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
I don't need tinder boy anymore but I do need free sushi
It was pretty awesome. I drank out of a stein and attempted to dance to dubstep with some older guys in leiderhosen.
Funniest thing happened to Chloe! She talked the bf into a mmf threesome, and he loudly and enthusiastically discovered he was gay during it. Whole dorm literally heard it happen.Well funny for me. Chloe not so much.
Randomize
