making cat noises will not fix the situation.
8am blowjobs give a whole new meaning to morning breath..
after last night i think it would be a good idea if i wrote a will... you know, just in case.
Romer got arrested for getting in a bar fight with a bus boy because he was trying to steal a keg, had it all the way to the car
she fell through a window trying to flash someone
Dude they have your information. Come back. The sheriffs office is here, they are pissed..please come back otherwise jail is inevitable. Call me
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
I get a nose bleed and my uncle is automatically giving me the "your doing lines off dashboards again aren't you" look
I'm cool with a hey old buddy how have you been want to fuck me in the butt kind of thing
i was thinking shit as she was saying it. it was a sarcasm time loop
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
found my cat trying to steal a lighter to hide away for himself. cat what are you doing. don't pocket my lighter.
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
Randomize
