Not good, Ive never been this late. We need to talk.
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True Life: I puke at bars and try to catch it in my hand...then walk away like it didn't happen
My parents showed me my IQ test from fourth grade, I'm shitting on my potential.
Ohhh, TODAY your worried. Becasue last weekend when we warned you about her you said "shes too hot to have herpes."
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
she pretty much pinned my hand to her boob "on accident" for like 10 seconds before she moved. Waiting the rest of the night was just a formality.
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
He didn't call me beautiful but he came in less than five minutes so same thing, right?
There's mini weenies and empanadas everywhere...
She didn't get a tit job, she's just wearing the right size bra for once
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
I frew up on some kids lovely sidealk chald drawings..
What is the best medium with which to say, "Happy Birthday, I'm having your abortion"... Cake? Card?
Randomize
