if i had a dollar for every time ive had to piece a night together like they did in "the hangover", i bet i could outsell their weekend box office earnings...
It was like a secret agent hookup. No names, swift execution, get in- get out.
Have you ever looked at the 750mL bottle of wine on the seat next to you knowing that it's just not going to be enough?
Each and every day.
you threatened to puke on the table cause they didnt serve eggs Benedict
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
the parents are super pissed...made eye contact with the mom while going down on another girl
Okay well we need to be adults. We're gonna end up with diabetes or some shit.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I have meat and whiskey. will you bring condoms?
Stop calling him just to say, "my vagina misses you."
Testing the emergency boobs hotline
Dude I turned down free booze. I think I'm growing as a person.
I just said "you do you" to my penis.
You literally asked him, “Do you come here often? Do you want to visit my vagina?” With no hesitation
Yelled "don't taze me bro" as the police officer tazed me. Cross it off the list.
Randomize
