im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
So guy #2, the dancer, is programmed into my phone under the name H.uy. His number- 11 digits. I should have stopped drinking.
My dad just questioned my drinking habits... Clearly he doesn't know what kind of college education he's paying for
Take your time, they're doing body shots off the dog.
I can't remember much about walking home last night. I think I kicked a dog.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
On the bright side his mom approves of me. Though it's apparently because she sleeps with married men and has a soft spot for "fellow homewreckers"
I saw him walking to campus with his beer in his hand in the same sweats he wore walking to campus with a beer in his hand yesterday.
I feel like strippers are like dogs, the more you show you're terrified the faster they come at you.
The last thing I remember is your grandma calling me a pussy and taking my shot for me. Your family is awesome.
Does buying my brother condoms for Christmas say "keep having sex with her, I like her" or "dear god, do not get this girl pregnant"?
He stood me up and then his cat died. I feel like this is Gods way of saying he's on my side, even after the tequila fiasco.
An old Grimace plushie came to life and gave me a pretty knife. I'm never doing acid again.
you pulled out seven eyelashes and made me count them multiple times whilst crying hysterically.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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