i may or may not have just grinded on your dog thinking it was my boyfriend
I kept calling his name while we were having sex cuz i was so proud that i remembered it.
guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
Oh no I havn't even told you about the naked asians yet
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
I told the hostess, two bouncers and a manager i was roofied and made them smell my beer. Turns out I just picked up some stupid bitches CHERRY WHEAT beer by mistake. I insisted they replace my lost beer.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I dont even care how hung over I am, and how shitty this bus ride will be. That was the best sex of my life and it's a beautiful morning.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm about 95% it's a collapsed lung. Go big right?
we're like the harlem globetrotters of underage drinking
I'm kind of upset that he wanted to have sex instead of watch Harry Potter. I mean it's Harry fucking potter.
Google imaged your anal issues. Seems fuckable still.
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
don't take offense to this but at the strip club tonight I legit believed one girl was you. almost hopped on stage and freaked out at you. you're a beauty.
Randomize
