btw when he was trying to sleep i was apparently poking him in the face w my 'flipper' slurring random manatee facts
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
KETAMINE SUNDAYS ARE SERIOUSLY FUCKING ME UP!
Your dad just texted me? He said I needed to holler at him when I get up tomorrow. I honestly thought you had somehow gone to jail.
dude I just found tht weird ass guy u invited last night passed out in my closet.... apparently he "couldn't find the exit"
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
SKIIIIIIIIIIII, trip mo foes! Let-ith the epic- ness begin ith. Heroes go forth, nAy Sayers fuckin die. This is for the good of mankind! See you on the morrow
Apologies to the number who did not expect to get this but certainly be jealous of us.
I lost my bra at his grandma's house so there's that.
I came in like 30 seconds, and my dog got to watch me take the walk of shame to the bathroom to clean up. All in all, not my best performance.
I CLEANED MY BATHROOM FOR YOU!! betrayal
not sure if actually covered in glitter or just drunk
Whoever said it shouldn't take a man to make you happy clearly wasn't having sex everyday.
i love you and all, but can that be the last orgy with your wife?
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