were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
i would have smoked before this dance, how ever i have surgery Monday and I looked up weed and anesthesia and fatalities was mentioned, so i decided that it would be a bad idea
probs a good idea
i like the whole idea of life and being alive
you sure you're not high?
you started keeping track of only every even numbered drink you had
I think I'm finally maturing. I'm happy he found someone. Good for him. I sincerely hope she doesn't choke on his tiny penis.
im not 100% but im pretty sure at some point i was rubbing ur bf's beard telling him how magnificient i thought it was
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
do you know where my other puke covered boot is
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
i think im in europe. pls send help
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
The cards I get dealt on tinder now are karma for fucking a married man while I was in high school.
APPARENTLY I MISSED SOMEONE SWALLOWING A WHOLE BAG OF METH WHILE I WAS ON BREAK.
Randomize
