so it turns out you can rearrange the letters in "scottsdale" to spell "milf city." who knew?
accomplished twins. life is a go
You know you are bi when you flip between the NFL Network and LOGO.
he asked if he could put his cape on while he was still inside me.
When I start puking tomorrow, just let me be. it'll start around 8:35. just let me heave. i love this part of my morning.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I will now send you explicit pics of mine and her genetalia bound together forever in the devils dance that is sexting.
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
Afternoon delight is playing while I take a shit at mcdonalds
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
I cannot belive our party caught on fire
For some reason drunk me always leaves sober me a banana in the morning.
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
It was probably the most embarrassing moment of my life. But I had cleavage, so I'm good!
Randomize
