possible father of this baby just finished his test first in a lecture of 200 people. other possible father finished about 100th.
I'm rooting for #1.
you said you wanted to feel how much my penis weighed for educational purposes
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
I still count it as showing your tits. Even though the wall was the only one who saw anything. Your boyfriend was pissed.
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
I think I'm crying more because after all these years he never learned to spell you or use a comma properly from me
It wasn't a great time! You grabbed me, picked me up, and make me pee in the sink!
mom had to come pick me up from the hotel. I crawled to her car. She told me the entire way home if I puked in it I was going to lick it up. Like high school all over again...
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
She's going to jail in a few weeks but she just got a boyfriend. Yet I'm still single as fuck.
It took 5 bourbons for him to handcuff and spank me and then he cried after sex. The men that like me are so unstable.
She played the piano. I played the piano. She got on top of the piano. I got on top of her.
Would the comment "Down Goes Frasier" be too inappropriate at this time?
I'm reading fall out boy fanfic. What has my life come to.
Someone made a mask out of a crown royal bag. Can't decide if tacky or awesome.
Randomize
