Can a clitoris grow tomatoes? Its symbolic and rhetorical.
Oh my god he is having a sentimental moment right now.
He just sent me like a really heartfelt confession of love in which he ended with "make the apt, I'll hold your hand while you get your clit pierced."
half the nation just spent an hour watching a balloon fly around. we are officially the dumbest fucking country.
And he showed us your test. You wrote what is this shit and scribbled on it? Nice 3%..
I look like a poor person in the cast of Gay Oliver.
at one point last night, you were literally auctioning me off. "reeeally drunk hot girl ! we'll start the bidding at an ice cold corona. oh, we have a bidder! do i hear a shot of whiskey? going once, going twice.."
youre welcome
I just tried to sell my homemade "lightning bolt stencil for pubes" on Etsy.
I just fell down my stairs. I know that you are 6 hours away but please come pick me up. I promise I will still be here on the stairs.
I find it very uncomfortable that I need to ask you to stop sending me pictures of your stomach
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
In the middle of our bar crawl last night we stopped to pet dogs at a dog park. who would let a drunk person bet play with their dog???
and then I partied with my new dealers deaf pit bull. All around a good night I'd say...
how don't worse things happen to you?
My body looks like ricotta cheese had a vacation
Tinder recommend to a friend: making threesomes easier since 2016
Pretty sure I got pink eye from the strip club. There is also still beer cans rattling around in my shower.
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